Michael – A Brand New Past – 4December2012

Mystic Tourist Blog

I have a brand new past. I just got it yesterday. It is so new I am not sure what to do with it or how much change will come from it. I can feel the change but that might be just a passing novelty. The simple charm of being new.

Yesterday, I was working on a post I called ‘Writing the Ship”. Having arrived at the sourcepoint of the rage I have known as an adult, I was dumbfounded, without any idea of what to do. I decided to write my way out of it. I outlined my anger, what I have always known it to be. For most of my life I have sought to solve this anger, to be finished with it and writing the Mystic Tourist Blog brought anger to the forefront, the problem to solve. It stems from a place in time and my work brought me to that place. Having found myself in this angry place everything was irritating. I was not angry but I was at an angry place.

I wrote in great detail what about what has made me mad. Boring. Something was missing and through the day I discovered that I had misunderstood my anger. The rage I had known was as a suit of clothes and I had mistaken the person, in the suit, for the rage I wore. If I was not angry about the things I have been so sure were the cause, for over forty years, what then was the anger about? Well I answered the question and forgave myself. I then found another point in time, more recent than the angry sourcepoint, a time that corrected the structure of what I had gotten so upset about, and it is all gone. A brand new past.

I will never be able to consider myself the same again and the past I have known is forever changed.


One thought on “Michael – A Brand New Past – 4December2012

  1. Hello. I would like to thank you for sharing this Blog-post. I have been meaning to stop by and poke around The Golden Age Daily before leaving my expression of gratitude. Very busy sorting out the parade that marches past now expecting me to join. This morning it is time to post this thank you. Thank you, Michael

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